


Fate and Choice

by CassisFantasy



Series: Unbound Fates AU [1]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Agender Character, Confusion, Eru being an asshole, Everyone is so confused, Gets better later on, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Melkor has a purpose, Slash, Symbolism, The Valar, Unbound Fates AU, Uncorrupted!Melkor, fëa bonds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassisFantasy/pseuds/CassisFantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things in life are fated to be. Some things are able to be chosen. Most however, are some kind of a combination of the two, though most do not realize this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fate and Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Keep in mind this is set before the creation of Arda, or any other beings that are not addressed in the chapter. All the characters are just their Fea at this point, and don’t really understand some basic concepts yet, because Eru has yet to create/inform them of such things. Melkor has not been corrupted yet. Also, I AM TERRIBLE AT DESCRIPTIONS!!

Melkor: Meant to be

Every creator had to have its destroyer, and Melkor was meant to be that destroyer. As would be proven time and time again, Melkor was quite the destroyer. Melkor took great pride in his work, and Eru took great pride in Melkor, his first successful creation. The younger being would eagerly obliterate all the mistakes Eru Iluvátar had crafted, in order to make room for what would hopefully be a successful creation.

In these times, there was no Arda, no other ainur, no upcoming Ainulindale. No, there was just Eru and Melkor. It was during these times that Melkor was most content, and in line to Eru’s will, for it was when he was allowed to follow his instincts. 

It was seldom that Eru had deemed a creation to be a success, so needless to say, Melkor was able to destroy most everything. 

However, there was one mistake that Melkor refused to eliminate.

At the time, Melkor did not understand what is was about this being that made him feel these pleasurable, yet foreign emotions. Could it perhaps have... created these emotions? Was this being also a creator of sorts? Eru certainly did not intend to creator another being such as himself. He knew this, for there would be no reason for creating something that already was. Not without an immediate need for it, and Iluvátar and expressed no such needs.

Yet despite the lack of purpose this being had, Melkor still could not bring himself to destroy it. Something about it attracted the destructive ainur in ways he had yet to understand. This unique attraction was quite different than how Eru attracted him, but at the time, he couldn’t quite pinpoint how so. The attraction was less familial and more… intimate? Was that the right word? He didn’t know. What he did know, however, was that this being was something worth existing.

Something deep inside of him was willing to actually defy his Lord for the sake of this newborn spirit. He knew this to be exceeding irrational and impulsive, even for him, and yet the feeling held strong. Just what was this thing, and how did it creating such an immediate discord within him?

He began to reach out for Eru, to ask it was acceptable; If this being’s existence was acceptable, and if his feelings were acceptable. For quite sometime, the creator did not respond to his questions. He didn’t know whether Eru was contemplating his answer, or trying to figure out how he could be rid of the new fëa, if Melkor would not. More likely than not, it was the latter, for Eru was not known for compromises or making exceptions.

Surprising, Eru Iluvátar laughed. It was a strange, light hearted laugh that he had yet to hear from the Creator. Usually, he was the only one to laugh as such. To hear Eru so amused with him sent a wave of fear cutting right through him.

“Thou are quite fond of it, art thou not?”

Melkor fervently nodded, his crimson fëa glowing brighter in shame. He couldn’t lie to Eru Iluvatar, at least not successfully.

“Well, this is most unexpected…” he responded, another low laugh rumbling from his unseen form. “Very well, I shan't make thou destroy him. I will let thou have this one thing.”

“I thank ye.” Melkor responded graciously.

He turned back towards the new being, only to see it darkening. Melkor pitied the strange fea. It had only just been made, and already it knows it was meant to die. He couldn’t even pretend to understand the young being’s sorrow. 

Calmly, he approached the mourning spirit, only to have it back away from him. Melkor began to feel himself darken slightly at the sudden apprehension the smaller one held toward him. Logically, he really couldn’t blame it. He, too, would be wary in such a situation, especially not being able to use his abilities yet. Would Eru even bother to teach it, or would he be the only one to help it? 

However, despite knowing all of this, he still was hurt that he thought he was something to fear. Unsure of what else to do, he tried to talk to it.

“I am not going to harm thee. I saved ye, so allow me to approach!” He demanded of the smaller one. Melkor was sure that the other would be fine once he told him he was safe. What Melkor did not understand was that fear, and even emotions in general were not so easily dismissed. It would take time to fully gain the trust he never had.

When the blue fea did not come to him, he was saddened and confused. Does he not understand that I bring him no harm? Did he not hear me say that I saved him? 

“Please, small one, I mean you no ill will. If you allow me to draw closer, I can prove this to you…” Melkor pleaded with the newborn fëa, not knowing why he was willing to put such effort into bonding with something that did not want him. Nevertheless, he was. 

Melkor dared to slowly reach out towards the lesser being once again, and this time was allowed to draw nearer. He slowly surrounded it with his own spirit, much like Eru had done to him when he first awoke. There was a slight fear, but he was not rejected, so the destructive one went even further, and touched it. Just before he would have actually caressed Eru’s newest creation, it felt like it looked at him. 

It was hard to tell if it truly did, for it had yet to morph its fëa into anything with eyes, or even a head. The young spirit was still just a glowing mass of spiritual light. Though, Melkor could have sworn he felt its gaze upon him, piercing, prodding into his core and searching for intent. Whatever it saw, it seemed to approve of, for he allowed Melkor to actually touch him.

Instantaneously, he was filled with their combined pleasure. Sparks of bright violet and white crackled from where their fëa were entwined. Happiness, fear, excitement, confusion, hurt, and awe all began the pulse through him and only seemed to grow and he remained connected to the new formed fëa. Such emotions began seem as though they would consume him, and yet he could not be bothered to struggle against it. The other spirit seemed to feel the same, for he did move away, nor was he filled with terror. Infact, he seemed more at peace.

Melkor looked at the spot where the touched and noticed that it he could no longer tell where he ended and the new fëa began. Instead, he saw a bright, unformed mass of violet energy that became more red as his sight ran up his arm, and more blue as he looked upon the other spirit. He began to panic. What is going on? Why are we glowing this strange color? Are we somehow merging into one?

In his fear, he drew away from the other. His arm returned to red and the other was able to fade back to its sapphire blue. Melkor could not help but be relieved. 

“Why..?”

Melkor quickly looked over at the new spirit, surprised that it spoke to him or that it even knew how to speak. It took him quite some time before he began to process the question. “Why?” What did he even mean by “why?” 

The question was complex, as he actually took the time to consider every aspect of it.

Why did you save me?

Why did you touch me?

Why did that happen? 

Why did it feel like that?

Why did you pull away?

Why me?

All these questions were valid ones, and yet he had the answers to none of them. He could not even explain why he felt they way he felt, or even how he felt. What he did know was that he did not regret it, not even in the slightest. For once, it felt nice not to always destroy things...


End file.
